My hair care routine has been pretty basic all my life, I will get up in the morning take a shower and use the soap itself to wash hair, look in the mirror and if the hair were still there, I will comb them with my hands and yo! I am ready to conquer the world.
Alas it was not to last forever. Everything changed the day I met the would be Mrs. Prasad. Well to cut long story short at a young age I had developed white hair at that too above and around the ears that added years to my age. For some reason the would be Mrs. Prasad decided that it is a minor defect that can easily be corrected post marriage. She gave me ultimatum that I need to start taking care of my hair or that her father will never agree to marry her to a man who looks 10 years older and would never believe that I am much younger. And no he would not believe my birth certificate and to him the birth certificate would be a white lie as white as the whites around my hair.
My mother and sisters decided to take side with her and started putting pressure on me to start taking care of my hair so that the damage does not increase. Soon I was bombarded by terms like manicure, pedicure, gold facial, homeopathy etc. to take care of the dwindling population of hair on my head. My father was neutral in this war of the hair care and my brother decided this is the one shot he has got to take revenge of all the fun I have poked at him taking advantage of being elder.So friends here I was being pressurized from all corners to start doing something about my hair. But I was being a tough customer. Finally a day came when her father and entourage was to come and meet my family to formalize the rishta. As you can imagine while everybody in my family has met my would be wife, in her family I was still a voice on phone and a photograph they have seen from my college days.
Till this day I had not done anything about the hair and the white around the ears were as sparkling as advertisement for toothpaste, only difference being everybody wants white teeth but black hair. Somehow the news reached the would be Missus that I have not colored or shampooed my hair and they are still white, so she conspired with my sister and I was forced to use Henna in my hair. This Missus thought would be a good starting point to initiate me into the cult of hair care.
But things did not went as planned (do they ever?) All the white hair have turned orange and now the Missus who was constantly on phone with my sister to get an update on my hair story. When she learned that the hair are now orange and not black she immediately declared that I have deliberately done this so that I can be rejected by her father and I never wanted to marry her. With this she banged the phone.
Now this made me worried I never thought this hair thing is so serious, and now the prospect of being rejected by her father was bothering me. The time was too less and my sister called the local salon to get a quick appointment to color the hair black. But on hearing that the hair has got henna they told that hair color will not come on hair with henna and they cannot help at such a short notice.
The phone rang and it was the Missus on other side she informed that her father and entourage has started from her home and will be at our place in 45 minutes. Time was passing by and eternal bachelor hood after rejection by her father was looming large in my face. Something had to be done and fast!!
This is when my brother came with his brilliant idea. He said bhai if you really want to make sure you are not rejected by her father due to white hair you need to have black hair and we have only 45 minutes. You have 3 choices
1. Shave your head quickly and say you went for a pilgrimage
2. Wear a hat
3. Color your hair quickly
We unanimously rejected the first two ideas as they would immediately have raised doubt about my hair. So he came up with the final solution..
“See bhai hair color will take too much time and we have only about half hour before they come. But I can color your hair in 10 minute.”
“How?” I asked him.
“I will polish them”
“Yes, I will polish them”
As they say “ Marta Kya Na Karta”
I agreed to the same bowed in front of my brother who polished my hair using shoe polish and just as my sister was removing the last of the stains from my cheeks the door bell rang. My brother emptied a bottle of cologne on me to mask the smell of shoe polish.
Well to cut long story short nobody noticed that I have colored my hair with shoe polish and everybody enjoyed the samosas and chai and the rishta was accepted, without any dowry to be given or accepted.
When the Missus learned of the same she gave a sigh of relief and was wondering how come her dad has approved me with all the hennaed hair. She could not believe that I have shoe polished my hair. All my sins of last 48 hours were pardoned with a moist smile.
The only comment her jiju made about me was”
“ Munda te changa hai par scent both laganda hai , lagta hai nahaya nahi tha“
(The boy is good, but he uses too much cologne, it seems he had not taken a bath)
Well ladies and gentlemen soon we got married, now because her family had seen me in black hair I had no choice but to start coloring my hair and in order to avoid any further damage to hair the Missus gave me a Dove kit with different soaps, hair care shampoos, etc.
Once we got married she made sure that I use the same religiously and regularly. Needless to say m y hair damage stopped, while the whites are still there.
Thanks for reading.
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