Dec 282015
 

Review of yet to be made movie on the yet to be written book called “Blog Wars, The Dark Side & Sleep Interrupted”

Dear readers, if you are like me and deeply entrenched  into the history and mythology of the Blog Wars then you would be aware of some of the things I am about to share with you.  On the other hand if you are not aware of the mythology and history of the Blog Wars, then I suggest you read the post even more carefully for this is where the unofficial but uncut and uncensored history and mythology of the Galaxy far far away.

Millions of light years away from earth in time before time there existed  Galaxy with civilizations so advanced that we earthling cannot even dream about them leave aside comprehend their advance technology.

The galaxy that existed millions of light years away from earth in the time before time was known as Blogaxy.   Now due to advanced nature of civilizations on Blogaxy the Blogaxians were a peace loving race. They never fought over frivolous things like Religion, Color, Race etc. and lived peacefully minding there own business.

Most of the Blogxians were happy writing their own blog and sharing it with other Blogxians. A wonderful bloghomie existed among them. Or did it ? Under the shroud of all the love, muahs, hugs, selfies and dahlings, existed an undercurrent that was waiting to disrupt the Blogaxy with a force so dark that even darkness referred to it as “The Dark Side”

darth vader

The leader of Dark Side

“The Dark Side” was opposed to anything and everything that represented free blogs, free tweets, free speech and wanted to control all the information, news and even thoughts that the Blogxians had in their mind.

You see every Blogaxian wanted his or her blog to be the most popular Blog in the of Blogxian and they were willing to do anything for the same.  The Dark Side was waiting sinisterly for the right moment to strike at the very core of the freedom of Blogixans to make them bow to the forces of darkness, so dark that even the darkness called them dark.

Master yoda

Wise Blog Master Yoda

But, “The Dark Side” knew that with unity among the Blogxians  was difficult to break and none of the Blogxian was willing to break the bloghomie created by the muahs, the selfies and the dahlings they call each other.

But soon the dark side had a plan so sinister that even those who invented sinister called it sinister.

Dark side decided to infiltrate the very core of the Blogaxy using a hyper core, quantum intensified,  Alfa  Chlor material that was formed only in the first few NANO seconds of the creation of the Blogaxy.

Now since the Alfa Chlor material was formed only in the first few NANO seconds of the creation of Blogaxy there was no antimatter for the same available in the Blogaxy. As there was not enough time to make its antimatter during the formation of the Blogaxy, the wise  Blog Master Yoda has hidden it in the most inhospitable terrain in the Blogaxy where no Blogxian could even think of reaching.

But the wise master Yoda was not called wise master for no reason at all, he knew he is getting old and his   Operation Energy was getting depleted for the Gama beta, Hopa rays that the Triplet Quasars at the core of the galaxy emitted which was his only source of nutrition were getting weak. He knew his time in the Blogaxy was limited. But he could not share the location of the Alfa Chlor material with anybody for he was not sure who was worthy of knowing the secret location of Alfa Chlor material, that was formed only in the first few NANO Seconds of the formation of Blogaxy.

So the wise master came up with the plan and he created a secret map of the secret location of the secret material the Alfa Chlor, that was formed only in the first few NANO seconds of the formation of the Blogaxy and there was no antimatter for the same.

hp store

Special Machine on which the secret map was made

laptop

But the dark side was after the map too

lpaa

The Special edition Notebook had a secret so secret that it was called Dark Secret

The wise Blgo Master Yoda created the map on a special laptop to keep it safe from infiltration by the the deadly Dark Side. Now this special laptop was no ordinary laptop it had some special features that made it much desired by the  Darth Vader the dark leader of the dark side. Now the Darth Vader was not called the dark leader because he wore a dark mask but because his blog had dark background with white font, a testimony of this dark thought.  While everybody in the Blogaxy had blogs on white background with dark letters, Darth Vader the dark leader of the Dark Side had a blog with dark background with light letters, this was his way of telling his readers that they have reached the blog of the dark side.

luke

Luke : Played by a Tech Blogger

Hans solo and chewbaca

Chewbacca played by a beauty blogger and Hans played by Solo Travel Blogger

side kicks

Side kicks played by folks who just tweet and don’t blog

princess leia

Princess Leia played by a Fashion Blogger

Once the readers read the blog of the dark side there was no going back, they were forced to write dark comments, share the blog of dark side and recruit more readers and followers to read the blog of the dark side. Slowly but steadily the readership of the darkside was increasing sending shock waves in the blogxiophere of bloggers who were worried that soon nobody will read there blogs as everybody will be hooked to the dark blog of the dark side.

Anyways coming back to the Blog master, once the map was created he decided to hide it in a secret place so that nobody could find it.  The place was so secret that the wise master himself forgot about the same and the secret place was now referred to now only as The Secret Place.

darth vader

Darth Vader played by a hacker

chewbacca

Check above to see who plays Chewie 🙂

But in his infinite wisdom the Blog Master has left enough clues for his true followers to follow the clues and reach the secret place. (Mind you it did not make the secret place any less secret but only a secret place with secret clues, and if we multiply Secret Place with Secret Clue you still get a Secret place. Got it ? No, anyways you are not supposed to get it because it is a SECRET!!! )

So will the disciples of the Blog master will reach the SECRET Place where the map created on the special laptop before the Dark Side? Well for that you need to wait for the movie to be made on the book to be written – “Blog Wars, The Dark Side & Sleep Interrupted”

Main Character:  Played By

Blog Master: Poet Blogger specializing in ill rhymed haikus

Hans Solo:  Solo Travel Blogger, who lost his way long time ago

Princess Leia:  Fashion Blogger, who had a wardrobe malfunction or two

Chewbacca:  Beauty Blogger, who forgot to shave

Luke Skywalker:  Tech Blogger, who hacked his own blog

Coming soon in  a theater near you that is yet to be built.

Thsi is a fun post written for www.hpshopping.in/starwars  contest from Indiblogger and HP to #AwakenYourForce . To know more about this notebook visit here

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  6 Responses to “Blog Wars: The Dark Side & Sleep Interrupted”

Comments (6)
  1. You have forgiven all travel bloggers except the your favourite ‘solo travel blogger’!

  2. Interesting interpretations… by the way, who is that poet blogger who writes ill-rhymed haikus? 🙂

    Arvind Passey
    http://www.passey.info

    • Everybody wants to know that….. so here is a disclaimer – ” Any resemblance to any blogger, fair or dark, real or fictitious, poet or techi, fashionable or slob, foodie or glutton is purely unintentional, as I say Bura Na Mano Desi Hai “

  3. Let us plan a trip to this location. Who is, btw, the haiku guy? 🙂

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